Ann wrote this today:

 3 things happened in close succession that need to be carefully teased apart. 

1)  I had  a stent inserted at 2:50 PM on March 29th. This involved a fairly heavy sedative for relaxation and to help me to co-operate.  Xray followed at 10:30 PM in my bedroom. 

2)  A night of confusion and disorientation 

3)  Mixed up messages or non-existent messages from the night of confusion. 

4)  Very little progress made. 

1)  The  intention of the stent is to move food off of the cancer walls.  In that sense, it was a success. 

2)  Confusion,  disorientation and a very disturbed  night 

My expectations were that the nasogastric tube would be removed - no.

That I would begin to eat - no.

That the doctors had already been discussing my next step plan - no.

That I would sleep well - no.

3)  I spent much of the night in a confused tangle, memories based on nothing but my own hopes, probably because of too much Morphine, forgotten real messages about the true situation concerning hours to fast, consume clear fluids with progression to  liquids including milk and other liquids. 

4)  Consequence: no plan = no progress. 

 

Next  step. 

5)  I was angry and disappointed.  2:00 PM on a Friday afternoon is not a good time to be sure that the weekend would be a valuable time of progress.  I expressed my anger vigorously towards the whole situation with no courtesy control and without knowing that the doctor was on the line and hearing every word.  

It  helped  enormously. She checked and rechecked the notes, contacted the kitchen,  etc.  And she came to me a little later with a workable plan for the weekend. I was pleased; she was chastened and thoroughly on my team.  It was worth expressing my  true feelings. We are following the  plan to slowly expand the amount of food,  but still in liquid form only. Will explore Monday morning when it comes. 

Thanks for reading the blog update for the past few days. 

A day contains 24 hours. During this day, I move from joy to despair.  This hour feels  great, the next is despair,  logical but true.  I will tell you of major changes, discharge  home, transfer to Saint John,  etc. as they happen.  These past few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions.  But, God is still good, a loving, caring component of my life and family. Thanks to you all,  especially David and Brenda. 

God bless you all,  

Ann